Temptations of life

Life is full of confusions and answers of which are very difficult to find.I am at this stage life where I am married and its love marriage, he is my life but now my life is finding answers to some questions.I find him moved away from me ..he is into his another world.I have always shared everything with him but vice versa never happened.Its almost 6yrs of relation...in this span life have gone through lots of ups and downs at every stage.Still standing together virtually but somewhere both know that the meaning of life for each of us has changed a lot.He always say he loves me but he loves others also...trying to find the meaning of the sentence he/she is very close to me.He says someone is very close doesn't mean that he/she is taking my place.But i m not able to understand the situation ....how can this be true..because of that person I have been away from him for so many days,months .It almost more than 6 months since he is finding the answers to his questions.He says he doesn't have any romantic relations with her but does relation really exist for him with anybody ...though i m his lawfully wedded wife i have never had normal romantic relation with him....from the day of marriage life was always in stormy ocean finding the way to reach the boundary but couldn't find till now. Everytime the boundaries itself changed.

Thought life will be normal after particular time but there seems no end to confusions of life.We do care for each of us but i guess we have started loving others also.He says she is like a sister but he love to be with her every time,he can discuss all things with her.He says I am close to him but I am finding answer to my question "In what way?"
Sometimes feel I am really close to him but next moment a thought peeps into mind then why he cant share all his things with me, he is always into his world,where I am just one of the persons close to him.I am not the only one.Then I also moved ahead by removing him from that position of my life.But now this position is empty.

I had started moving on a road thinking we are moving together but didn't realized when he took another path and now he wants me to accompany him with all his partners on that path.

I was and still am living in the same world dreams of which we have seen together.But sometimes feel that definition of dreams were different for each of us and now both of us are trying to fit another one to fit into that definition.

U r close to me----looks very simple sentence but trying to find the answer how close.I want to define boundaries of my existence in his life.What should I expect from him,shall I expect something from him or not. He says I am part of his life ,but what a part means? can anybody tell me? I am a person who wants everything clear like a crystal. Asked him many times who I m and where do I stand in his life?
But in both cases never got the answer.
Tried to avoid him but the more I tried to avoid the more I moved towards him,not actually but may be in my world. My world is totally diff from this fake world where everyone has many faces.Everybody is fooling himself and they say thats how the world is and this is the best way to live in this world.

I never could wear any other face.Today I wanted to fulfill my temptation but couldnt do that.I tried to convince me that he is not in my life but he has entered and now I am want him to play role which i have imagined playing in my world.
But he is also part of that world where he has so many faces.
So I am finding answer which face should i believe ,the one he shows me when he talks to me or the one I can see him carrying.
The one he carries when he speaks to me looks very gud,caring,loving me a lot but as soon as he go away I feel like being played by a false face which is put on to fulfill few of his ego, needs and temptations.
It would have been really better if i would have learned to wear this faces.
What shall i do, I am running behind someone who is running behind someone to whom i cant stand and if i want to stop and leave the path i dont have any destination to follow.
I have lost the way....thats why life looks like an ocean or sky where when u move u are sure to loose ur path..........